Aararoo aarirarooo (Siruthai song)
At 9' 0clock in the night I start with this song to put my 2 year old daughter to sleep. It goes on and on moving from english to hindi and back to tamil songs. By the time it is 11'o clock, when I slowly peep in to see if she is asleep, she would jump out of the bed and tell me, "Amma innum konjam" That means, I want some more.
Toastmasters and my dear friends, welcome to the world of parenting!!
For the next 5 minutes, you are going to listen to a typical mom's banter.
If my night times are like this, my mornings are even worse. Especially during weekends, at 4'o clock I wake up after hearing a loud thunderous, crashing noise. When I find that my daughter is not around, I go searching for her and find her in the corner of the room with the toy cupboard open and all the toys scattered on the floor. When I ask her, "What are you doing during this wee hour in this pitch dark room?" She would simply say, "Amma I am preparing soup for you." Don't you think that is cute, adorable and dainty? Don't even think about it.
However, as a mom I am proud that I have acquired a few rare and extraordinary skills over a period of time. I have a 9 year old and a 2 year old, so I have 11 years of abundant experience in cutting kids' nails. You wont believe me, I can even diffuse a bomb while riding on a roller coaster. I am sure you can relate to this if you have ever cut your kids' nails.
I am a working mom and I spend most of time in conducting meetings. During the initial days of the lock down, I used to think that, I can easily attend meetings if I lock the room and my daughter stays outside with my mom. The idea was an utter flop and it never worked. She would bang on the door all the time. Then I decided to have her in the room with her toys around her. This really worked. Most of the time she would allow me to attend the calls peacefully, though some times she would pull my headset while on the call. But one day all of a sudden, when I was on a status call, she picked this mike, switched it on and started saying 'Pooochandiiii'- that means 'Boogieman'. All my team mates started laughing. She became an overnight star and popular among my team mates. From then on, my team mates would always ask me ' How is your Poochandi daughter?'.
Coming back to this Poochandi story, there is an interesting flashback on this. Me and my elder daughter were watching this Jim Carry's movie,"The Mask". In one of the scenes the green colored mask man has his tongue protruding and the eyeballs coming out. It is a very scary scene and my younger daughter was so scared and she started crying. She calls him the 'Green color poochandi'. It came as a blessing in disguise. It was like a magical power given to me. Whenever she jumps on the sofa dangerously or doesn't have her meal, I would immediately say, "Green color poochandi is waiting outside". She would immediately listen and obey. But this was like Cinderella's fairy magic and lasted only for 2 months.After that she started telling me, "Let him come, I will befriend him and have lunch with him". Moral of the story, "Never ever try to outsmart your kids. Mostly it doesnt work. Even if it works, it is only a temporary fix.
After hearing all this if you think, "This lady has some peaceful 'me-time' only in the restroom.", you are totally wrong. From the time I enter into the restroom till the time I come out, the loud banging on the door with the background music, "Amma Amma Amma!!!...All my neighbours are thorough with my restroom schedules. Kaushalya aunty will probably be wondering, "It is already 3'o clock, why is there no noise? Is Kavitha at home?." "Aunty...Kavitha is at home, but her status call got extended by 15 mins so probably you will be hearing the noise at 3:15 today aunty. Moral of the story, "There is no escape. Odavum mudiyaadhu, Oliyavum mudiyadhu!"
After all this banter if you come to a conclusion, "Oh my God I am not going to have any kids." You have totally got me wrong. 10 years ago, after a miscarriage I have had nightmares that I would end up not becoming a mom at all. Now my situation is different. 20 years from now, it is going to be even more different. You never know what is going to happen. My daughters are not going to be with me for sure and they are going to have their own lives.
Now, I am trying to live my life to the fullest and cherish, treasure and venerate each and every moment . I would like to enjoy the humor, the comicality, and the witticism surrounding my life. As my role model Stephen Hawking, says, "Life would be tragic if weren't funny". I am looking at my whole life as one big funny story. I will be here to narrate the small chunks of humor in my life every year for the humorous speech contest. Over to you contest master.
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